Riding with Angels

Four in the afternoon on a dusty road that not even the mail truck will go down, I awake to the sound of banging the door of our double wide. BANG! BANG!! BANG!!! Dragging myself from the couch I look out the window to see… a face looking in at me. As the lock clears the bolt the door swings out and there stands 3 friends looking for a place to crash till the sun goes down.

Yeah come on in, I’m going to go to town in a bit… make yourself at home. After showering and getting ready I check on my unwanted guests before leaving… 2 sleeping and 1 eating. Seeyah. I slam the door on the way out, just to get some pay back for waking me up. My beauty sits on her stand waiting for her man. The chrome rims popping off sparkles to my eyes, rolling with me as I mount. I’m outta here. The dust behind blocks my view of the past as I ride faster for the main road.

Liquid ribbon of black top stretches for the horizon to both sides, making the turn with a slide of the back tire. I slowly start to accelerate… hair twisting in the wind, the skin on my head tingles and sends a goose bump run down my arms. The clouds billow and climb the ladder of sky to paradise in mind as mesa’s in the distance slowly crawl towards me.

My mirror shows me something coming up from behind, moving fast… more than one, several in fact! It looks like 6 pins and flat heads being operated by the spawn of Satan. I can see their slowing down the closer they get and my heart starts to skip to every other beat. Holding my line tight to the right of the road… ceasing to look in the mirror as two ride up on my left side, both intently looking hard at me. My chest hurts from the stress and I turn to greet a fellow trail blazer, a broad grin is the first thing I see on a brown leather face surrounded with thick unwashed black and gray hair.

A leather clad, dust encrusted beast of a man is smiling wide and takes the time to wave to me after signaling the other riders to fall back. Whipping my head right around, second place is awarded me by the looks of things. I question with a glancing what? He slides close and I move in unison to the side, matching my speed… we ride. Never had I been so afraid and aware of life’s short calling, I swivel a little now and then and it makes him belly laugh out loud… How long you been riding? I shout back 10 years, he seems caught in a moment of glorious thought. Peeking in the mirror I can see there is at least 20 pairs riding behind the head of our new formed biker triangle.

Miles of road under the wheels later, euphoria has set in my mood. The One Stop is coming up from the rounded orange brown horizon, everything you’ll ever need to survive a desolate life. A dozen rigs lay sleeping in their lots, I throttle back and point to the place… a nod of his head lets me know understanding. A chain of motorcycles slows for a much needed break from the thing they crave. Life.

A wary man quickens his step returning to the false security of a van, a couple sleeps slumped in their seats near the entrance to the left. I pull hard right and slow down to clear the way for the others. Couples and singles ride by in pairs, past the main building turning around the back to the favorite biker parking. As the last ones ride by I get a quick nod and a thumbs up.

Pulling up out front and parking where I always do, as a man of enormous size comes around the corner with a course heading for me. A spine tingling shoulder shiver catches me off guard and leaves me speechless. He stops on the curb and crosses his arms and looks my machine over. Dropping the kick to park my ride, he exclaims with a thunderous voice as deep as the pipes on his lady. You gonna be staying here long? No sir, I just came to get a gallon of milk and some dinner for my mom before she gets home from work… Your going to be a damn fine man one day, when your ready I’ll ride back with you.

He pulled my groceries from his leather saddle bag and hung it on my bicycle handle bars, as I went to shake his hand, he slid his hand up my arm and said grip like this… now you’re in the brotherhood, be good to yourself.

Meeting the One

Midnight whistle, and the coal chambered beast charges thru the gaining wall of fog. Slowing the engine, the conductor blows the whistle twice more, approaching the yeehaw junction. Heavy afternoon thunderstorms had drenched the little town where no one but family ever visited and the people there for the most part liked it that way. They’ll be no stopping for this red eye filled with wealthy guests, bound for Miami. There’s always a schedule to keep so he starts picking up speed again, the twenty foot section of bridge that the children use to get to the other side of town, has been weakened by the rushing of water.

Sleeping in her bed, with a cat named black jack and a dog that didn’t have a name because it was deaf. She’s dreaming of a spring day when the fishing was good and the air delightful, the train meets it’s fate and derails at fifty miles an hour. The rumbling crash of twisting metal, contorting into shapes of misery and pain, wakes the entire town from an ordinary night. Screaming mothers and fathers call out for mercy, the children are trapped with them as fire rages out side threatening to move inside. The bridge had a gasoline main cross over just installed a month ago, the fifteen year old pillars where loosened during the process. Hundreds of gallons of gas are flowing over the water and up the banks igniting the older model wooden passenger cars on fire.

Leaping from her bed and running to the front door, Lee finds the entire family on the porch, the adults are trying to decide what to do. They can clearly see the flames leaping into the sky a hundred feet or more and people are crawling across the ground, their house is only a couple hundred yards from the tracks and the stream. Her mother goes to barn and prepares to tend to the injured, as her father starts the truck to drive up to the crash site with her two older brothers. She decides at the last moment to jump on the back of the truck kind of sneaky, so her father won’t see her. Jim guns the motor and tears up the road, she holds on to the wooden slates for dear life. Arriving on the gruesome scene, the men run to aid the dieing, Lee stands up, looking over the cab, a man with a chair leg sticking through his stomach and coming out of his back at an angle staggers toward her.

The only fire truck in town arrives with a ambulance that’s just a van with some medical supplies inside, the firefighters send a team to turn off the gas main while the others begin dousing burning passenger cars with a bucket brigade from up stream. A boy sees Lee and waves limply with one arm for help, he’s bleeding from a head injury. She grown up on the farm so medical attention is second nature to her, jumping off the truck and running toward him. He staggers and falls with a stone white face, covered in blood. Kneeling next to him she turns him over to see if he’s still breathing, her mother screams from behind her, finding a man leaning against the front of the truck with a shattered piece of wood sticking out of his back.

After taking more than a dozen people to the house and barn, with burns, cuts, and sever wounds, Lee sits by her bed with a boy that’s unconscious. There’s moaning in the house and screaming in the barn, more fire trucks are arriving from close by towns along with more ambulances that have better equipment for such a horrific accident. Broward opens his eye’s to see Lee wiping the blood from his head and speaks “Thank you” the words come across is slow slur as he passes out from blood loss. She’s very worried about him and doesn’t even know his name, her mother comes into the room with a man dressed in pajama’s, his eyes are wide open from shock. The doctor was one of many called to the rescue that night, he checks the boys pulse and finds him to be at least ok enough for now. The doctor turns to Lee, “The bleeding has stopped and he doesn’t seem to have any broken bones or internal injury that I can see, have some water ready for him when he comes around.”, her mother and the doctor leave the two alone, as Lee starts to feel the emotion of taking care of someone else when they are unable to care for themselves.

The fire took hours to put out and many people perished in the catastrophe, Broward’s mother is lead into the bed room with bandages on her arm and head by Lee’s mother . His mother was in the barn with his father who was badly burned getting them out of the sleeper car , being in critical condition he was taken to a hospital immediately. The mothers standing together looking at their children, both begin to weep and laugh at the same time. Broward’s mother hugs Lee and thanks her for taking such good care of her son, he opens his eye’s and says with a broken harsh voice… “Mom?”. Reaching out to her son and sitting down on the edge of the bed, he puts his hand on hers and asks about his father. She holds back the tears and says, “ He’s going to be OK, now rest yourself…”. The mothers go to speak in hushed whispers just out side the door, Lee sits and looks at this boy she’s never met before, laying in her bed, admiring him.
She’s never met a boy from outside of town and doesn’t like the ones she does know that live in town. His dark black hair is matted in blood as he awakens again with more resolve. “Where am I” he asks, she looks at him sideways and says, “your in my bed“. His eye’s flash open wide, “I don’t know how I got here” he say’s, looking around at the strange surroundings. He’s groggy and can’t get a fix on sitting up straight so he slumps back onto the pillow. Lee giggles for a brief moment and says “Your going to be all right, you just need to rest”, she looks toward the door to see her mother smiling at her.

Around noon, Broward is awake and hungry, Lee is trying to make him smile while they wait for what smells like something fantastic cooking in the kitchen down stairs. Instant friends from the situation, their getting along very well. The worst brings out the best in both of them as they try not to think about what has happened, “I’m going to run downstairs and get you some food” says Lee with her radiant smile. She finds her mother in the kitchen talking to several men and woman including Broward’s mother, “Excuse me mom, can I get a plate to take upstairs?”. says Lee with the last part falling off to a whisper, as all the adults turn to look at her.

Pancakes with egg’s and corn beef hash, are delivered by a beautiful girl turning into a teenager. He’s stunned by her presence but grateful enough to say, “Thank you”. She uses talking to calm herself while he’s devouring the breakfast for lunch. Just his presence seems to have a calming effect on her and they sit for a long while just looking at each other. Two large men show up around three PM to take Broward to a waiting car , that will take him and his mother to the hospital in the next town, where his father is stabilized but still badly burned. As the car is pulling away, Broward waves from the back window, a single tear rolls down Lee’s cheek, waving good bye. Her mother pulls her close to the side, and rubs Lee’s shoulder. Leaning in close to her ear she says, “I got their address and gave them ours so you can send a letter to him.”, Lee’s sparkling eye’s turn to her mother as she say’s “I’m going to start writing Broward a letter right now”.

One summer afternoon, many years later the mail man arrives with a letter for Lee. They had lost touch over time, she opens the envelope to find a nearly blank page that say’s “See you Saturday” and Broward’s name signed underneath. She is dizzy with excitement, running into the house yelling “Broward’s coming here Saturday!!! He’s coming to see me!!!”, up the stairs and into her room, throwing open the closet door. “What am I going to wear!?!?!”, she says it over and over. “I think it’s about time we got you that pretty pink dress in the window of Clair’s store.”, her father says in a crisp clear voice from the doorway.

The story teller, my grandmother, leans forward in her rocking chair and brings her face close to mine as I sit mesmerized on the floor. She looks at me with excited eye’s and says “The rest of my life you must know by heart, right now… the pumpkin pies are ready and your papa will be home soon“. It’s Thanksgiving day and Lee is in the kitchen making a fabulous meal while Broward and uncle Will are shopping for a Christmas tree. She tells me the story of how they met time and time again, always thankful for the worst night of their life that turned into the most incredible lifetime.

Right now… I’m going to sit in the rocking chair.

Baked in Alaska

When I arrived in Alaska, a family friend picked me up at the Anchorage airport in a busted up 250,000 mile truck that never let him down. I threw my duffel in the back in between the crab traps and the side of the truck, getting in… I thought, here I go. Tony is married but they don’t want to have any kids because of where they live and how harsh life really is, after meeting his wife we stepped out on the back porch and he pulled a small oval tin from his pocket, He looked me in the eyes as he opened it and said. “this my friend, is Alaskan Matanuska thunder fuck”. As soon as the rim of the can came apart and exposed the spicy dankness that was inside, he passed it to me, I was in a state of awe looking at deep red hair, purple and gold leaves and all of covered in sparkling trichromes.

The citrus aroma made the inside of my nose tingle, I packed the elk horn bowel sitting on the railing with just a pinch at his request. Becky came out with some beers and asked Tony if he was going to let me feel the thunder fuck standing up. We sat around the table as they had a conversation about a place called the monkey wharf, looking at the incredible sky line my senses were in overload, Becky went back inside glancing a look at me with a broad smile and said, “lean back in the chair when it hits, if you lean forward, you’ll white out and fall out of the chair”. Tony laughed in his Italian way and asked for the pipe, placing another pinch on top he pushed it in and lite it up, after a deep hold, slowly releasing a cloud of smoke, he handed pipe back and I took a long hard hit with no additional fire. As I leaned back with my eye’s open the color of the sky changed in intensity, the clouds, the mountains, everything developed silver glowing outline and I closed my eye’s for the release. Static electric rings racing toward me in multiple colors, as I faded out, the jet lag, lack of sleep all combined and I slept for about two hours.

When I woke up, they were in the kitchen working on something and it hadn’t gotten a lot darker outside for being 7 PM in the evening Tony saw me through the window and came out and said hey sleepyhead, chow is almost ready, after that we’re going to head down to the monkey wharf. He told me that it was a bar that all the locals loved, that it would help me to get out and meet the people and we would hang out with his friends. When we went inside and I looked at the table It was rather shocking to see a loaf of bread, grilled hot dogs, a jar of peanut butter and a big bag of Lays potato chips. Tony looked at me very sternly and he said, what’s the matter you never had peanut butter on hotdogs before? It’s was awesome! I couldn’t believe it, the flavor combo was beyond compare for being so simple.

On a walk about around the property, he lite up a number and the smoke blew around me in a thick haze while looking at his best view of the mountains. As we sat in the giant hand carved wood bench with totem poll figures of life and death lining the outsides. I hit the joint and released several times over a period of 3 or 4 minutes. Then something happened that I suppose I’ll never fully understand, sparkles in my brain… I wasn’t seeing flashes of light, the sparkles were in my mind. I looked over and Tony was grinning ear to ear, are you feeling it he happily asked? Hell yeah, I feel heavy and light at the same time, mini explosions all over my brain and all my skin is tingling. He pushed his head back on his shoulders and handed the resin dripping black and brown roach jammed into one side of a thick flat round stone with a smiley face on it. Standing while handing it to me, he chuckled under his thick grizzled beard and said “sounds like you need to finish this before we head out”.

We both looked back at Becky standing on the porch of the double wide trailer, she was wearing a yellow sundress with a pair of muck boots and her long black Italian hair frolicking in the breeze. I waved goodbye and jumped in the shotgun seat, Tony held a last minute conversation like lovers do before a period of time passes that they might not know that the other is ok. Sliding the key into the ignition and turned it start, pushed the clutch, we slowly rolled down the wash board drive way as he put it in gear and popped the clutch, the motor sprang to life. The tree’s were blading the evening light rolling by the window with Waylon whaling away about county life being the best, I could see Anchorage in the distance coming over the ridge. Excitement was building inside, the very air itself was different, so many sights and smells.

He said were gonna pick up Bill on the way, we turned off the main road and drove into an area where all the houses were round. They were mostly dry cabins for renters who work in town but can’t afford and don’t want to live there, Tony and Bill exchanged mountain man greetings with a growling hand shake. Bill exclaimed “Is this the young buck from the flatlands that I’m gonna work with?”, they both laughed as I got out and climbed in the back of the truck for the rest of the ride. I asked Tony if we could stop somewhere and get some grub and Bill reached in his backpack and pulled out a baggie of venison jerky that I finished off riding thru town to get to the docks.

As we walked up to the front of the monkey wharf bar, lights with several colors shined out of the windows over the top of the long fishing dock rain roof above the doors. The lower windows were blacked out, some patrons were gathered around one end outside with a column of sweet Cheba smoke rolling into the sky. I was looking it that direction, thinking about joining… tony put his massive hand on my shoulder to turn me toward the door as he opened it. Thundering music, yelling, drunken laughter of men and woman blasted me in the face, stepping across the threshold the very first thing that made me draw back was a monkey in a cage masturbating as it started to howl, while looking directly at me. I looked away only to find there were other cages with monkey’s.

Tony and Bill were leading me thru the crowded room to another smaller room where people were definitely smoking the same stuff Tony lite up earlier. We sat down at a old wooden round top with wire spool chairs, they rolled up three J’s as I was looking around the room. A tall women with one leg and a crunch was looking in from the doorway surveying the room, she made a meh face and moved back into the main room. I could hear the monkeys screaming, glass breaking, men and women going at each other with cut downs for turn on’s. Tony tapped me on the should, handing me a scooby doobie, I asked him about the women with one leg.

After lighting up the spicy fruit wonderland, he told me that Sally had come to Alaska years ago to work on a trawler, there was an accident and her leg was crushed so they had to amputate. I couldn’t tell which was blowing my mind more, her story or the cloud of smoke around me. Then it took a darker turn, she couldn’t get a job and started selling her affections, becoming the one leg hooker. Tony stood up and said “wanna talk to her?”, while snuffing his joint. Bill stayed to talk to another guy, we made our way thru the crowd to a wall of people cheering as a half naked waitress went sliding by with everyone pouring beer on her and the floor. Another one and another as everyone cheered, a naked man tried to run after them and fell on his face, splitting his forehead with a turn your head sickening thud. Bartenders wrapped his head in a towel and duct tape, the monkey’s and people all went crazy in unison as the smell of blood filled the air.

I walked up to the bar after losing track of Tony and asked for a beer, the bar maid turned around, grabbed a rope and started pulling. A metal basket with crude stick welding burns all around came up from below, water was still falling off. I thought it was really cool the way they keep the beer cold using Mother Nature. Turning to look around, standing close behind me, was a tall, blonde, green eyed, woman in her mid thirties who definitely knew how to apply make-up. Hey there, as I tipped my beer to her, she said “Hello Stranger, just get into town?”, she started giggling and reached out to take my hand while turning on a crutch to lead me into walking with her.

Tony was sitting at the table smiling so hard that his mustache hair was standing straight out, he burst into laughter as we approached. She sat in the chair next him and everyone at the table was laughing looking at each other. Good to see you met my sister, Tony exclaimed, The One leg Hooker! Turns out, she was the best in the whole family at fishing also know as a Hooker. We laughed and sang along to country songs, having the time of my life smoking a legendary strain of cannabis.

All around me bees buzzing in a hive, the noise gathered in song with a knocking of knuckles on a hollow wood door. A voice from the distance in the darkness speaks, rise and shine we are leaving for Fairbanks in a hour. Opening one eye, fluorescent light flooded in from the unknown room. Electrical ballast hum filled the air as the scent of plant’s became clear, sitting up on the cot and rubbing my face… another knock, I’m up! Tony slowly opened the door to say hello and check on me, he asked if I needed breakfast before we leave. Sounds great, what are we having? Eggs, waffles and fried bologna was his response, a breakfast fit for the kodiak bear. He stepped into the room and approached a table along the wall with three phototrons and opened the doors to expose the incredible plant’s inside. Checking soil and looking over the leaves, I stood up and sat back down immediately with the room spinning and thunder in my belly. I looked up at Tony, he laughed and asked if I was going to be alright. Yeah I need a minute, alcohol and I don’t get along… there was a huge octagon box in the middle of the room made from half inch plywood, unlatching the top, light beamed out of the four foot high homemade grow box with eight plant’s inside. Standing again I looked inside of paradise grown, giving a weak smile, Becky yelled breakfast was ready and we made our way to the table.

Good morning bear paw, they both laughed hard, a puzzled look overtakes my face as Tony tells me about how I knocked out a guy that was bothering his sister by slapping him one time. Memory of the event wasn’t present for me so I chuckled and got tucked in. The food was good but tasted different, the air and water even the sunlight were all new smells and feelings. The silence was broken by Tony reminding me that I had to call home when we get to Fairbanks. Nodding in agreement I heard motors roaring up the driveway to the house, Tony left the table and went out the front door yelling back to Becky that the fuel truck should arrive soon. Getting up from the table I noticed a black leather jacket with kidney belt hanging on the back of the chair, go ahead, try it on… Becky said smiling ear to ear. Slipping my arms down the flannel lining and snugging it against the back of my neck after pulling my hair out over the collar. Thank you Aunt Becky, fell from my completely surprised mouth. It was comforting to my body and soul, another yell from Tony “hey bear paw, get your ass out here.”. I walked out the door to meet the riders, six beat up bikes and a rusty van were waiting outside. They were all looking at me, still blinded by muted sunlight, I heard, holy shit, it’s a Kodiak Bear… laughing along with the crowd I joined the group to find out several of them served with my Dad and they knew many things about me that made me feel awkward because I didn’t know anything about them. Thank you for the armor as I pulled the jacket closed and zipped it up, Tony motioned to van, he opened the doors to show me a nineteen seventy seven triumph that my father gave to him when he was leaving Alaska in nineteen eighty three. I got misty eyed when it started up first try, driving down the hill to the road and stopped. My brain was racing faster than my heart, revving the motor, gathering my courage, slowly releasing the clutch… a air horn blasted me out of my frame of mind, the bike jerk stalled, looking directly at a truck wanting access to the driveway, I shivered. A fuel hauler moved up the hill as I pulled out onto the road for my first legacy ride.

Hair flowing with the wind, trees sliding by, it was glorious until a huge bug hit me in the cheek and loss of control followed as I laid the bike down along the shoulder drop off and rolled into a ditch. Pulling my self up to check for injuries a swarm of mosquitoes bigger than I’d seen before gathered around me. Swatting and running from the blood suckers, I grabbed the bike and kept going for a jump on western ride away. Returning to the house I told them what happened as they finished loading plants into the van. We laughed and talked for awhile about other hazards here, the list was long.

After loading my bike into Tony’s truck, Becky and Her cousin left in the van with motorcycles ahead and behind. We went inside and sat on the couch rolling some Maui Waui joints for the journey. Grabbing the packed lunches and headed out to the highway going North, the mountains to the right views were impressive as we passed thru a couple small towns, stopping for gas along the way before approaching the Denali state park. The mountain grew bigger ahead as elevation of the road climbed, ears popping, he told me stories along the way that I only half listened to, my mind was being saturated with so many things at once. Waking up in a new place thrills my thoughts, quickening my pulse with sights and sounds. We had been driving about two and half hours with more highway ahead. Stopped at a roadside viewing area to smoke and stretch, walking the edge he flipped the zippo open with a snap, sparking it to life in the same motion putting lit to a spliff. He took several hits before passing it to me, then wondered over to a bench, laying down like nap time with a arm over his eyes. I took deep hits and stared at the mountains for awhile, some tourist showed up taking pictures so we moved along. Three hundred and forty miles and several smoke breaks later, we arrived at a house miles off the main road that was a modern ranch two story log cabin. There were 4x4’s, trucks of every size, motorcycles, people everywhere, a band was playing from the top of a RV while drunken figures danced around a massive bon fire singing along with the music. Tony turned off the truck and grabbed me at the shoulder for attention locking in a steel gaze, he spoke in a low serious tone… when you meet Blue, don’t stare at his balls.

He open his door and exiting while maintaining eye contact, speechless, I was trapped in a thought loop, trying to figure out what was just said. He started walking toward the house, jumping out I ran to catch up just in time to be introduced to friends of the family and locals here for the party. There was more smoke coming from the crowd of people than from the fire, I sampled several different joints that were offered and none were the same. Kegs of beer lined the porch on both sides with thick smoke rolling out the top of the open front door, as we set foot on the first step a ominous figure filled the frame of the doorway. Reaching the porch a deep voice boomed out, damn boy you look exactly like your father, stepping out of shadows I noticed his balls were hanging out of a hole cut in his pants. He reached out to biker shake and pulled me close, you aren’t eyeing my balls are you? His eye’s were fire red, penetrating my soul, testing me, looking for me to look away… I did notice they are larger than mine. Tony and Blue burst into laughter along with others close by. Come on in you got a phone call to make… I followed Blue upstairs while Tony was talking to some friends, walking along the railing over looking the living room I could see only couches and chairs with people laughing, talking, yelling, Blue tapped me on the shoulder and we entered a huge room and a large cherry oak desk, ornate carvings and stacks of papers, folders, filing cabinets, multiple type writers, a fax machine and three phones.

He sat behind the desk and offered a seat to me, dialing the phone, he put it on speaker as the phone rang several times. Hello? I made it to Blue’s house, he’s here too. Thanks for calling, was started to get worried, are you doing OK? I told him about the motorcycle and the jacket, how good it was to see Tony again and then Blue talked to him for a few minute’s. In our good bye’s I promised to call when I get set up in Anchorage, hanging up the phone Blue looked at me and said “let’s go enjoy the harvest celebration!”.

Hours later, reclined by the bon fire reduced to embers… stars filled the sky as a green meteor streaked thru in a second. Adrift in the Milky Way, consciousness fading out, dreams slipped in and took me away to the future from the present.

Rip Cord.

Eleven thousand feet between, gravities tug turns to yanking at my guts.
Waiting for solo sailing flight of infinity, the last door I may ever step through yearns for me.
Chaos fills the metal bird, wind screw lifted flight, in the last seat… Seconds from the door.
Number one go! The jump master follows his target, I’m next! Panic… shuddering pulse becomes hammering blows to the chest, mind shares with the heart what it knows.

I watch the instructor for permission to cast fate into the winds of frozen time, Number two… is that how many hours have just pasted? Both hands hold a side of the portal to the world below, drifting powder puffs dot the horizon. Go! For a moment my muscles fail to respond, greasy wobbling sickness takes over… seconds of fear trail on to more. Rush of static electric vibration whips up my spine, leaping out of air stream into the great wide open.

Turbulence of acceleration in changing direction, motions, tumbling, visions of sky then land back and over… I regain precarious balance on the tip of fist pressing hard into my stomach, lashing at my face. Violent bone wrenching, twitching muscles convulse at my ever quickening pace and pulse, adrenaline slams into my forehead as my eyes take in… Flight. A human wing, free gliding through mother earths air mass. Falling sensation leaves me partially blind, tunnel of light, only pin point of ground visible. Blinking, squeezing hard and back like sneezing, toes curl as tension grows.

One second more, and then another… blackness ebbs back from my sight. I’m dropping back down from my up, one thousand feet in seven seconds, one hundred and twenty miles I could pass by in an hour. Fifteen seconds and the view is a round horizon for as far as can be seen. Mazes of rivers flow under bridges to blobs of lakes, I see a flock of white bird wings diving and shifting in unison.

Jump master stays at my sides and signals for a pull test, I complete twice with success… examining my mental composure in this fleeting moment, he’s sliding back with graceful control and I get another signal… I’m on my own. Free sensation like laying in water trying to float while fighting against sinking, in reverse. Thirty seconds and four thousand feet have flown by… the critical moment about to arrive, pull the cord to survive.

I notice with sudden shock, my breathing has stopped. Oxygen is penetrating my skin through every exposed pore, six thousand feet gone to history of memory, falling from the sky. Five thousand feet from terra firma, altimeter bleeps and flashes as the headphone resonates with the words… Rip cord now! Gripping the loop seconds before, swiftly snatching it straight out flat, drag shoot snags current and yanks a silky flower from my back.

My head snaps forward before neck muscles start resisting the rapid deceleration, from horizontal to vertical in one fifth of a second. My feet feel like liquid lead is flooding my body, two seconds of rattling nerves as rustling material dances, spreading like a sheet over a bed, opening to full sail. Slamming crack, popped broken air mass slams against the opening. Snatching and clawing for the grips, seeking control over my only hope for landing as I left the earth… standing. Wrapping my hands taught, I pull soft and then tug hard left to stop right way drifting.

On course for selected landing location, one thousand feet a minute twisting in a slow buzzards cork screw motion, eye’s searching for precious moments to catch in the cage of reckless thoughts. Everything small, grows the closer to her I get, returning to life as I know it every day. Walking, riding, working, writing, talking to family, sharing and caring about those around me, wondering what I can do to help you, help me.

A thousand feet more and freedom is almost over, what goes up, never wants to come back down to lost. The needs of gravity will not be denied by my wanting a passion for life, five hundred feet to a perfect landing. I’ve got nothing holding me down, no one who wants to stick around, so I’ll throw myself on the mercy of the clouds. One hundred feet, pulling hard like a bird wing arched before a perch… fifty feet in a second. Thumping one foot, to the other, over compensating, misbalanced rolling lilted tilt. Tripping over my own feet rolling to a stop.

Dust settles around me on the landing field, looking straight up to where I just came from… I realized six minutes ago I was flying high in the sky at eleven thousand feet, scared of what happens next. Not worried about tomorrows yesterday, just living in the fleeting moments of life’s memory stored throughout histories of mistaken lessons learned.

I wait for a long pause, laying there in a puddle of thankful adrenaline, as I sat up to see the world as I always have… CRUNCH! Everything went black.

dream ripples Riding the apologia flat out across the plain, she bucks and throws me face down in a skidding stop, a rain of pain begins to fall. dream ripples

An hour later… Waking up slowly to throbbing pain with people sitting down and standing up, maybe three or four, they say lay down in unison and as my spinning head returns to the pillow in agreement. What happened, husky voice crackles and shakes. When you sat up, another person landing… hit you, a pointed finger turns my attention to the person standing on the other side of the bed. Your lucky it wasn’t a guy… you would have been crushed. She stood in the light of the window, sun rays sparkled all around her as dust danced in the blades of crystal yellow white.

I’m so sorry… whispers a voice broken and choked with grief, gripping my hand that I hadn’t noticed. Blurry vision gives way to clearly see… an angels eye’s are focus so intently on mine, I can feel her penetrating me. Hours turned days, common in so many ways, we become accidental friends and lovers, bounded for Five Forever’s.

Title: Natural Savior

A Breeze blows whispering pines branches together, bringing lit watchers eye’s alive to say, whoooo‘s there everywhere above the ridge. Crackling pop forms jumping firefly’s into harvest scented air, huntress talons sharp and frightening hold vigil over the canyon from the top of her tallest tree. On the horizon a sun sets aside for moon to rise simultaneously, orion’s hunter plays cupid as Taurus kicks the big dipper.

Awaiting Milky way drifts mixed in a whirling circle of thought, stars possibility shines deeply from worlds beyond, never seen. Smokes mystery rises with fiery thoughts for yesterday’s loses of hopes and despair, just then... snap of a twig jumps my heart fright!

Darkness settles in from the east with the friendly memories of light huddled in tight around the fire, shutting out the imaginary of things heard but not seen. I start making whistling noises to cover my want to scream. Loneliness is worst at night, locked in piece of mind, rolling on and on about what today really was. A piercing cry grips the timid soul of every creature that knows the feeling of racing heart beat and being hunted. Hackles on my neck stand for attention, jumping up and then crouching in my delusion of what it may be so near. Banshee scream echo’s through the canyon and rolls back to me, as she lets out another shrieking bellow.... I see her, just as the majestic night hawk leaps into her element.

Swiftly pumping hard against gravities graceful desire, seeking a higher something, lifting yet further still, she throws her wings into a hard banking right and dives out of site around rivers bend. Thunder rumbles in futures distance, magnifying my feeling of disturbing spirits with my presences, trembling ripple pulls at the lower muscles of my back. Twitching and itches request scratches at my legs, as I wonder if my tent will protect me from the elements at play. Thunder from the strike of a hammer on anvil cloud formation above the earth rains down miles away and moving east... I should get some rest.

A blind moment of terror dilates my pupils to focus back on... a tearing at my scalp, pains rip across the scull, pulling hair from my head, hurling myself backward from balanced standing. Grabbing at my head and smoothing back to find bloods warmth on my hands, I roll over for protection with eyes bulging wide from fear! Running for the largest rock and safety, she climbs into the moonlight with my blood and hair in her claws. She’s crying victory into the night sky. Feeling for a serious wound, I find only

minor injury. A sigh of relief is replaced with shivering terror from her screaming by just over the top, flying high out of the canyon and hopefully away from me! After long minutes of stress induced thinking, I decide she’s done with her attack.

Warily approaching my camp site while staying low, seeking the safety of my tent. My ears pick up the hint of air being forced over the pressure of wings, just a moment before she passes with a startling scream, rising high to come back again. I grab my backpack for protection scrambling for the trail to the top of the canyon with ever increasing momentum. Over and over she cries into the sky. Moving with panics attacking grace, I don’t care what her location is now, moving higher up the canyon wall every second, the full moon lights motivations way.

Tripping over crossed shadowy terrain, I’m close to the top, on open ground she can’t get me! Then I will have the advantage, a sensation quakes in my feet... no lightning flash, but still the earth shakes with growing vibration. Rolling thunderous roar of water breaks the northern bend with a chest sinking splash of crushing force, then comes a paralyzing wall of water storming through in it’s disorderly waves. River stones grind together after rolling like marbles in front of this enormous hissing snake. Mist from foaming froth blasts up the canyon walls as it all blows by me, empowered by the winds of friction.

Turning to see destinies choice behind me, the river swallows a well-planned fire, ripping up shelter and moving on, the camp site is gone. Rushing water climbs as I do, reaching the ridge and sitting down to review what has passed I collapse.

One last time she cries in thoughtfulness of our night of saving grace, a whispering saved soul echoes in my mind a thousand times ten... all painful moments lead a path to clarity. You know... in hindsight.